The Growth Signal
We’ve all heard it: “Growth happens outside your comfort zone.” But what if we flipped this idea on its head? What if discomfort wasn’t just a side effect of growth but an active signal—a beacon—showing us exactly where growth is happening? What if, instead of merely tolerating discomfort, we embraced it, sought it out, and even celebrated it?
This isn’t just motivational fluff. The concept of seeking discomfort as a signal of growth offers a practical, science-backed way to reframe how we approach challenges, awkwardness, and discomfort in our lives.
The Immediate Power of Discomfort
Discomfort has an advantage: it’s immediate and easy to detect. Whether it’s the nervous flutter in your chest before public speaking, the ache in your legs during a long run, or the awkwardness of navigating a new social situation, discomfort makes itself known. It’s visceral, undeniable, and, for most of us, unwelcome.
But here’s the thing—discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failing. More often than not, it means you’re doing something right. It signals that you’re stretching your limits, venturing into the unknown, and taking the risks necessary for personal growth.
Why We Avoid Discomfort
Despite its benefits, most people instinctively avoid discomfort. Our brains are wired to seek safety and efficiency, rewarding us with dopamine when we stick to familiar routines and avoid unnecessary risks.
The problem? Growth doesn’t happen in the familiar. Sticking to what’s safe means we stagnate. We trade short-term comfort for long-term mediocrity, never fully realizing our potential.
Seeking Discomfort as a Growth Strategy
What if we stopped fighting our discomfort and instead started chasing it? By reframing discomfort as a growth signal, we can turn what feels unpleasant into something meaningful and motivating.
Here’s how:
Reframe the Narrative: Instead of thinking, “This feels bad, I must be doing something wrong,” think, “This feels uncomfortable, so I must be growing.”
Set Growth Goals: Identify areas where discomfort aligns with personal growth. Public speaking, tackling a new skill, or having tough conversations might be uncomfortable but are rich opportunities for growth.
Track the Discomfort: Make discomfort part of your feedback loop. Keep a journal or checklist of moments when you intentionally leaned into discomfort and reflect on how it contributed to your growth.
The Science Behind Discomfort and Growth
Research1 supports the idea that discomfort is a catalyst for change. Studies on stress and learning show that manageable stress—what researchers call “eustress”—pushes us to adapt and grow.
For example:
Physical Growth: In fitness, muscle growth happens through micro-tears caused by exertion. The discomfort of a challenging workout is the precursor to strength.
Cognitive Growth: Learning new skills or tackling complex problems stretches our cognitive capacities, often causing frustration or fatigue—but this is when our brains are rewiring and adapting.
Emotional Growth: Facing fears or vulnerabilities, such as having a difficult conversation, often feels deeply uncomfortable but leads to stronger relationships and greater emotional intelligence.
Discomfort is not just a byproduct of growth—it’s the engine.
Why Seeking Discomfort Increases Motivation
When discomfort becomes a signal of progress, it changes the way we approach challenges. Instead of dreading awkward moments or hard work, we start to see them as proof that we’re moving forward.
This shift increases motivation in several ways:
Immediate Feedback: Discomfort provides real-time evidence that you’re pushing boundaries.
Intrinsic Reward: Reframing discomfort as valuable makes the process feel rewarding, even before you see external results.
Resilience Training: Actively seeking discomfort builds a tolerance for it, making future challenges feel less daunting.
Practical Ways to Seek Discomfort
Say Yes to New Opportunities: When you feel the instinct to say no because something feels awkward or hard, challenge yourself to say yes instead.
Challenge Yourself Daily: Set small, discomfort-oriented goals, like speaking up in a meeting, trying a new hobby, or starting a difficult conversation.
Reflect on Discomfort: At the end of each day, identify moments of discomfort and reflect on what you learned or gained.
Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People: Being around others who embrace discomfort normalizes the experience and encourages you to do the same.
The Discomfort-to-Growth Pipeline
Imagine your discomfort as a compass, pointing you toward the things that matter most. Each awkward moment, hard workout, or intimidating challenge is a step on the path to becoming a stronger, more capable version of yourself.
By seeking discomfort, you transform it from something to avoid into something to celebrate. Growth isn’t just about getting through the hard stuff—it’s about finding joy and meaning in the process.
So, the next time you feel discomfort creeping in, don’t shy away. Lean in. It’s your signal that you’re on the right track.
Update
A Contrarian Perspective from My Sister
After publishing this post, my sister—who has a knack for spotting overlooked nuances—offered an alternative take on the idea of seeking discomfort for growth. Her thoughts were too compelling not to share, and they challenge some of the underlying assumptions in my original take. So here’s her perspective (thank you, sis, for keeping me honest):
While I was originally focused on the discomfort that comes with actively seeking out challenges (e.g., public speaking, trying new skills, or pushing physical limits), she points out another kind of discomfort that’s just as valuable: the discomfort of not doing those things.
This form of discomfort often emerges when we resist societal norms about what “growth” should look like. It’s the unease we feel when we say “no” to opportunities, step back from overachieving, or choose stillness and rest over relentless activity. Society often glorifies visible effort and traditional notions of self-improvement, but growth can also happen when we decide to move against those currents—when we make choices that align with our authentic selves, even if they don’t fit the typical growth narrative.
For example:
Saying “no” to a promotion because it doesn’t align with your long-term values can feel uncomfortable but might lead to deeper clarity and satisfaction, while also keeping you connected to work you enjoy.
Choosing rest when everyone around you values hustle can feel unsettling but may help you stay in the game longer—long enough that compound returns yield better results than the hustle you passed on.
Declining to engage in a social event or group activity that doesn’t energize you might cause discomfort, but it could strengthen your ability to honor your personal boundaries, keeping sacred the joy of solitude.
Her perspective broadens the idea of discomfort as a signal of growth. It’s not always about doing more, pushing harder, or taking on visible challenges. Sometimes, the path to growth lies in stillness, restraint, and the discomfort of going against the grain.
Thank You for the Reminder
This view is an important reminder: growth is deeply personal. The discomfort that leads to growth might look different for everyone. While I first only thought to celebrate the discomfort of action, it’s equally valid to celebrate the discomfort of inaction—of stepping back, recalibrating, and making choices that feel right, even if they don’t align with societal expectations.
Thanks for pushing me to think beyond the obvious. Growth takes many forms, and I’m grateful for the discomfort of having a sister who keeps me on my toes.
Related prompt:
Growth
Our surroundings are often silent forces shaping who we become. Today’s reflective prompt asks us to consider the ways our environment challenges and encourages us:
Woolley, K., & Fishbach, A. (2022). Motivating Personal Growth by Seeking Discomfort. Psychological Science, 33(4), 510-523. https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/2022-woolley.pdf